Sointu Pesola

Issue No. 22 • Spring 2021

FUCK YOUR GOD AND FUCK YOUR COUNTRY

FUCK YOUR GOD AND FUCK YOUR COUNTRY. I'M GONNA SCREAM AS LONG AS I WANT TO. RED-HOT AND HOLY AS ANYTHING. FUCK YOUR SWEETHEART NECKLINES. FUCK YOUR PLAYGROUND POLITICS. I HAVE A BODY AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. I KNOW WHAT I WANT. YOU WANT ME TO SIT LIKE A LADY. I WANT TO SLIT YOUR THROAT. I DON'T CARE. DON'T TRY TO BE NICE TO ME. DON'T PITY ME. DON'T PRAY FOR ME. DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT PROPHECIES. I'LL BE QUICK TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK. I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. I'M MAKING THE STATEMENT. CAUSING THE SCENE. CALL ME SELFISH, CALL ME SHARP-TONGUED, CALL ME STUPID. WHAT'S IT TO YOU. I AM BRILLIANT. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. HOW ABOUT TELLING ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING THAT'S NOT IN THE BIBLE. SOMETHING HARDER TO SWALLOW. I'LL SPIT IT RIGHT BACK IN YOUR FACE. FUCK YOUR TYPE. FUCK YOUR IDEAL HOUSEWIFE. FUCK YOUR RESPONSIBLE MOTHER. I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. BET THEY DIDN'T TEACH YOU THIS IN THE BOY SCOUTS. WAKE UP. 

WHOSE IS MY BODY IF NOT MINE

february. pink light, purple light. too much rain and too little crying. i'm getting bored. kafka said the poet's task is to lead the isolated human being into the infinite life. the contingent into the lawful. i am tired. i need someone to live and die for, by which i mean i need something that can kill me. i need someone to force a kiss down my throat by the spoonful. i want to be known and felt. i want to be known and felt in the right way. i want someone to see me showing up for myself every day. i want a witness. i tell my mother: there are many of me. i sing off key and watch ghost-hunting shows, and i sit around on sundays and pray to a god i'm not sure i believe in. a bedroom cult. children of the food court zoo. these gray creatures, my heaven-faced sisters on fire in the backyard, bleeding out birdsong and all the midnight junk. this is what love looks like. look in the mirror: that is what love looks like. we are all victims of ourselves.

Sointu Pesola is a 17-year-old student, writer and visual artist from Tampere, Finland. As well as gender identity and the queer experience, their work focuses largely on the themes of growing up and finding your own place in the world. This is the first time they have submitted their work to be published.