– Rodrigo Toscano – 

Her new beau (who’s 154 years her senior) snapped this pic of her in full desert gear before
attending their first occupationalists open water boarding party. As the fateful day grew
nearer, her belly clenched itself into knots, apprehensive by the unknown that lay ahead.

Shortly after they arrived (after removing the tarp off the new transport vehicle, revealing the
pricey bulletproof glass), two battalion commanders invited her to engage an enemy
combatant over a long oval glass table. The old perruque (whatever that means) got rather
nervous, but also extremely perruque’d as she bent her eager face over the glass to get her
very first taste of the enemy.

Within ten minutes she was relating the experience excitedly to a U.N. type by the mess hall,
fast-assembling her M-15 wearing a blindfold and nervously gestimating her total clip count.
She would occasionally glance back at her “grey-eyed man of destiny” from across the yard
with a glaze in her eyes, but for the most part, she was locked into the coalitional partner.

Suddenly, the U.N type’s Chinese-made rocket launcher pointed straight at her M-15; her
head dipped down in a near-comatose apprehension of the situation. She then slowly raised
her eyes to the perruque (alias William Walker) with a shy, but determined look. A slight
smile came over her face as the U.N. corporal slowly hoisted her onto the helicopter’s lift
chair. Her beau’s peanut-sized heart pounded out of his chest, awaking in his soul a new
awareness of nation-love as the two disappeared into the sky above.

She emerged nine years and a half later, her face with a distinct pink grapefruit hue of having
been thoroughly re-juiced at the International Tribunal at The Hague. She also had dozens
of kiwi skin scratches on her diplomatic resume.

“Pumpkin” (as she still prefers to be called by you) grew up on her older brother’s “hidden”
browser links, her favorite site being “abductmylittleimperialistsis.com”