Danny McLaren
Issue No. 22 • Spring 2021
The Enby Manifesto:
Rules for a body stuck between a rock and a hard place.
1) Don’t talk about gender, even when you REALLY want to talk about gender. I get it; you think your gender is pretty neat. That it is electric, is fascinating, is probably what it feels like to shoot straight dopamine into your veins, is better-than-but-also-sometimes-an-impediment-to-having-sex. You think your gender fucking rocks. So do your trans friends, so do the blue-haired androgynes on public transit, so do I. I really, really do. But cis people don’t.
2) You have to talk about gender, even when you REALLY don’t want to. Cis folks have a lot of questions. About your gender, your body, your (and here is when they’ll look a little bit embarrassed, maybe even point to your junk) … parts. Prepare notes ahead of time like this is a school presentation. Every interaction has a mandatory Q&A.
3) Not all trans-to-trans advice is sage wisdom. Sometimes it’s just bad advice.
4) Clothes are important. They’re tools of survival. They’re borderline divine. Getting dressed should take you AT LEAST 45 minutes so you can: change your shirt thrice; experiment with a French tuck; cuff and un-cuff and re-cuff your jeans; shift your boobs around your binder until you’re flat-ish. You will always be late, but you’ll look ethereal, ungenderable, and hot as hell itself.
5) If you change your name, choose one of the following:
a. A reclaimed nickname.
b. A type of plant.
c. A character from your favourite video game.
d. Any 1 syllable noun.
e. An obscure enough reference to a book.
f. Something astrological.
g. None of the above.
6) There are no more rules. Survive. Run away from your shitty hometown. Set a cop car on fire. Bake your own bread. Start a lesbian commune. Work on your drag persona. Learn calligraphy. Shoplift from Walmart. Contribute to a community garden. Help an artist make rent. Fall in love with yourself. Live.
given/chosen, a venn diagram poem
What My Name Means
Don’t ask me to check off male or female on garbage questionnaires. they don’t need to know my sex. and especially don’t ask me if you think that male and female belong under the heading “gender?” because what does my assigned sex at birth have to do with whether or not I enjoyed my latest trip to subway? i didn’t, by the way. subway is awful.
Asking me if identifying as non-binary is the same as identifying as a cat or a dog or a clownfish is not only, like, wildly insulting, but it’s so unbelievably humiliating. not for me. you’re the one who should be humiliated, asking me a stupid question like that over facebook fucking messenger because you can’t get your head out of your ass long enough to google the word “transgender.”
Naming yourself is a privilege and a burden. i know folks who agonized over their names, who went through six names in the span of a year, who were blamed for erasing history. i know people whose families got overly involved and tried to help but always ended up saying shit like “i just think it’s ugly” or “it doesn’t suit you like your old one.” and i’m sorry, mom and dad, to scratch out letters of the name you gave me, but doesn’t this one sound so much better?
No, i haven’t had “the surgery.” no, i don’t have to get it. no, i’m not a boy, nor do i want to be a boy. no, i’m not “just gay” or “just a lesbian.” no, i won’t debate you. no, i don’t want to answer your questions. no, i definitely don’t have any desire to be friends with you. no, i don’t want to be interviewed about my experience with transphobia on campus. no, cis and terf are not slurs. no, i won’t explain to you why I have a right to exist. not now, not ever, so shut the fuck up.
You know what? i’m too exhausted to write another one of these. read a book. exploit a different trans person’s labor and goodwill. this one is tired.
Danny McLaren is a queer, trans and non-binary writer who uses they/them pronouns. They write about trans existence and resistance or video games, or both, if they can pull it off. You can find their debut poetry chapbook Two-Way Town with Ethel Press or keep up with them on twitter @dannymclrn.