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self-care

Rocks

Rocks

The story I most want to tell right now is about rocks. I've been a paleontologist for all of my life. I went to Harvard after WWII, and I got my PhD after that, and I've been travelling and researching since the 1950's. It's taken me to Antarctica and Russia and China, and in the end, it's all about rocks. Everything I do is about rocks. It's admittedly weird, because rocks are the clichŽ we use when we want to describe something as boring. Rocks are the metaphor we use when something is stagnant, but to me, rocks are always changing. Minerals and organic matter are always being compounded, they're always changing and morphing and developing.  In my bedroom I have a case line of rocks. In fact, my whole house is filled with rocks, but the ones in my bedroom are the most special. They're the ones that I fall asleep looking at, and they're the ones that I first see when I wake up. This may be a stretch, but working with rocks has taught me that things always change- things are changing right now, and they're always going to continue changing forever, you just have to give them enough time.  

~Anonymous

When I returned home from a semester abroad

When I returned home from a semester abroad

When I returned home from a semester studying abroad, it was the middle of my junior year. Spring semester is known as the prime time for a college business student to interview for internships and leadership programs that turn into post-graduate job opportunities. I felt a little behind on the task, and decided to reach out to a Fordham alumnus who held a position at Ernst & Young. 

After spending days agonizing on crafting the perfect email to send to a Partner that wouldn't be immediately discarded, I finally mustered up the courage to send it. In it, I explained my involvement in Fordham thus far and all my internship experience, hoping to impress him enough to get an informational interview with him.  A few days passed with no message from him in my inbox, and I figured it was a lost cause and that he was too busy to meet with a undergraduate student like me. But then he did answer, and the first line of the email was "anything for a fellow Fordham Ram."

Despite the effort I put into my email to him, all that mattered was that we both valued the Fordham connection that we shared. It wasn't the last time I heard that phrase during a networking event, and I look forward to using it as my own philosophy as I transition into the post-graduate world. 

~Anonymous

In light of events still unwinding tonight

In light of events still unwinding tonight

In light of events still unwinding tonight, I'd like to tell a story. More likely than not, most of you are aware I'm gay. It's hard not to be, I shout about it every other day. The future doesn't look as bright as I hoped it might for LGBTQ people in this country after tonight. Since the age of thirteen to just less than a year ago, I thought about killing myself once a day. That's once a day for eight years. I knew I was gay, I hated myself for it, and I was afraid that there wasn't a place for me in this country and this world because I was gay. Because of decisions and attitudes and actions that led to today's political climate, for millions of LGBTQ people, especially young, confused and scared kids, that thought I once had is now a reality. The only thing I can tell myself that even attempts to ease the pain is this - I am going to fight SO hard these next years - for me, for you, for ALL of us. Crossing this road may be lengthy and full of hurt, but I'll see you on the other side.

~Adrianna Redhair

我想說說我對健康觀點的改變

我想說說我對健康觀點的改變

我想說說我對健康觀點的改變,以及健康對我的重要。我在本科的時候也和大家一樣精力充沛,為了做自己喜歡的作業或喜歡的事每天都可以熬夜到一兩點兩三點。甚至有一次為了放假可以多兩天回家,連續熬了兩個通宵。當時覺得世界都是我的,想幹什麼都可以,因此有時間去做。大一大二都可以,到了大三大四就力不從心了。在籌備出國的時段也花了很多精力。當時我對未來的設想是成為一個工作狂,願意花很多時間來幫助我的事業。本科畢業後的第一個工作就非常辛苦,經常出差,晚上需要熬夜到一兩點,當時雖然心理上能承受但是身體會出現很多不舒服頭疼。現在我在美國讀研究生,覺得難得熬一兩個,每天都想九到十點睡覺。慢慢年紀變大後,我發現人的精力是有限的。那個時候你就會覺得自己的健康很重要,因為如果不注重就會累積出很多小毛小病,你會堅持運動,注意睡眠。所以對於生活,學習,事業需要做一些取捨,本科的時候我什麼都想要。但是慢慢長大我發現我的精力並不足夠我完成所有的設想,我會做一個取捨。

~李大力

 

人们需要重新思考子女与父母的关系。

人们需要重新思考子女与父母的关系。

在传统的概念中父与子母与女的关系中父母说话是至高无上不许不听,父母到老了,要儿女尽善也是天经地义,他们不会考虑自己有养老金,尽可能的自己想办法解决问题,他们不会考虑儿女是在异地并儿女自己也还要有种种困难不能前往,他们一概不听,准备通过法律程序要儿女看护。人们需要重新思考子女与父母的关系。

~漾洋

 

我最想說的故事是欲言又止。

我最想說的故事是欲言又止。

我最想說的故事是欲言又止。

人與人之前那種最深刻,最親密,

卻又是最無助,最遙遠,最傷感的情感,

的瞬間。看得見,看不見,看見了,又說的出口嗎?

還是本就沒有你想表達的那個字。

本就沒有你想說的那種語言。

是願望嗎 還是出生的那一刻就已經知道了

你生命清晰的軌跡。

~黃色太空衣

The story I most want to tell right now is about my GED

The story I most want to tell right now is about my GED

The story I most want to tell right now is about my GED. I never thought I would get it, but then again, I never thought I would drop out either. I don't have a lot to say about it, it's just one of the things that's happening. I don't really feel much about it, to be honest. I feel like I should probably feel more about it, like, feel more excited or happy or feel anything, but I don't know, it's weird. It doesn't feel very momentous; it feels more like an afterthought. I think maybe if I had done it the traditional way it would feel better, but it feels like a given. More like tying up a loose end rather than a new beginning, you know? And I don't know, I really don't have plans for what I'm going to do after. I don't think I would be very good at college, but I also don't think my future would be very good without it. I try not to think about it. Which I guess is how I've done most things, by not really thinking, you know? So I guess the story I want to tell about my GED isn't really a story at all. I don't think I have another story though. I don't think everyone does. Sometimes it's life and watching TV and going to college and walking the dog but there's not really a story. There's not really a lot.

~George Mendez

It's fine.

It's fine.

Everyone's anxious. I'm tired. It's fine.

~Alyssa

I've been working with some Ailey dancers

I've been working with some Ailey dancers

I've been working with some Ailey dancers doing promotional work for their upcoming show (videos, photos, etc.) & it has been such an inspiring experience. First of all, these women are a completely different type of artist: they don't make anything, they use their bodies, and it's fascinating to watch them treat their bodies like works of art: with precision, respect, & love. A lesson I feel like a lot of people could learn about their bodies (including myself) Another thing is that they are all women, which is beautiful. As a straight male, there are obvious reasons why I find these women beautiful; I mean their bodies are incredible and they all have smiles that could knock anyone dead. But their respect for their art, their passion is truly beautiful. And being in a female dominated space as a straight male is also incredible, to see women in a space where they can literally flock around and sort of disconnect from the patriarchy, even for just those 2 hour rehearsals, was incredible. Just to be in there, the energy, was so beautiful, so free. In spaces that are entirely male, from my experience, there's always more pretense, more competition, more bullshit. In this space, granted I was only there for a handful of hours & obviously female groups have their own problems too, the vibe was just different. It's truly been an honor working with these women, and as an aspiring creative firm CEO it feels like a new type of creativity was opened up to me through these sessions, & just by being in their space I feel like I've learned some lessons.

~ Martin Nunez-Bonilla

I'm always drawn to stories about healing

I'm always drawn to stories about healing

I'm always drawn to stories about healing, meditation, etc. In these challenging and uncertain times under this Administration I always have to remind myself about the importance of self-care. So many people around me, and including myself, are hurting physically, emotionally, etc because of all the emotions (anger, rage, sadness, fear, etc) we are feeling. Capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy have a hold on many of us and the impact is real; addiction, depression, anxiety, etc. Now more than ever it is important to take care and heal ourselves so we can then heal our families, heal our communities, and heal Mother Earth. "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."-Audre Lorde

~Katheryn Crawford

Mayonnaise is healthier than ketchup

Mayonnaise is healthier than ketchup

Mayonnaise is healthier than ketchup. How do you feel about that?

It's true! Mayonnaise consists of olive oil and eggs, yet twenty-five percent of ketchup is made of sugar.

Living by this factoid was one of my first steps to changing my life for good.

I work as a graphic designer, marketing assistant and brand illustrator all rolled into one at my local premium supermarket, DeCicco & Sons. Naturally, I had an employee discount. Anything on the floor under the offices I worked in was at my fingertips. By the time lunch rolled around I would get in line for a gourmet chicken parmesan cutlet BLT with ranch dressing and top it off with coffee doused in a sweetened creamer. Sometimes I'd sneak a granola bar upstairs for a snack, and head out to have some free sweets at the bakery displays.

Yet every day at my desk on lunch break, I would reflect on why nothing fit me anymore. I was embarrassed that the only pieces of proper, fitting workwear I owned were three large size eighteen dresses my grandmother had sewn for me within the last year. I was twenty-one years old, exactly five feet tall, and pushing one hundred and eighty pounds on the scales. For the majority of my life from middle school into college, I was unhappy with my body. I never felt healthy or had enough energy, or ever feel comfortable shopping. My personal example of the vicious cycle would start with apathy and say, "Oh, I'll work out later," and when I'd get to that I'd say, "I deserve a treat for running three miles," and in the time that followed I'd realize, "Okay, I shouldn't have eaten that...but I'll just work out even harder next time!"

In early June I broke the cycle by answering one simple question.

"Is this who I will be for the rest of my life?"

Every morning I would answer that question with self-discipline. My last meal from a deli department was that lovely chicken parmesan cutlet BLT with ranch dressing. The lady at the bakery who would normally make me my mocha latte with vanilla creamer and sugar was surprised when I asked for hot water with lemon and cinnamon. My lovely coworkers in the office were genuinely concerned about my eating habits, not because I was eating healthier, but because the change happened so rapidly, quite like night and day.

My favorite part of the job, and the main backbone of success, was the dual screen display setup I was given. I would retouch, design, illustrate, tweak, and type on one monitor while I would listen to lecture upon lecture about sugar, fat, carbohydrates, debunked diets, genetically modified foods, processed foods, macronutrient and micronutrient intakes, obesity, anorexia, diabetes, you name it. Some of my favorites included raw vegan documentaries and British television series, "Supersize VS Superskinny." I went vegetarian for a week. I went vegan for a week after. Finally, around July I supplemented my consumption of nutritional information with a community-based source of information centered around a diet not well-known to the majority of the world today: the ketogenic diet.

The ketogenic diet has been my saving grace. Essentially, it takes the standard American diet and flips the fat and carbohydrate percentages. Instead of continuing a diet based on seventy five percent carbohydrates and five percent fats, I began to base my consumption around seventy five percent fats and five percent carbohydrates. If we go back and look at the mayonnaise versus ketchup example, you'll see that this suits the rule of fat in the keto diet. I wanted to follow the diet as strictly as possible.

I gave up all forms of sugar, no more than 10 net grams of carbohydrates, and cut out all processed and genetically-modified forms of foods whenever possible. As an added bonus, my severe cystic acne cleared up completely when I gave up all forms of dairy. Along the way I discovered a huge amount of information. Did you know most carrots and fruits are genetically modified to be sweeter to the average consumer? Did you know that many grams of sugar hide in cured bacon? Did you know that most iceberg lettuce does not contain any significant nutrients whatsoever? Did you know that bananas are actually one of the most sugar, carbohydrate, and calorie-dense foods you can eat? Did you know avocados and spinach contain more potassium than a generic banana?

In a matter of about ten days I went from shopping and consuming anything in my supermarket to fervently avoiding the highly-processed, boxed, packaged, ninety percent in the middle. My paychecks didn't go to clothes or books, or things for leisure. Half my money went to purchasing the food that was good for my body. Being of Hispanic background, it was understandably a very different environment at home when it came to food, especially since I gave up rice and beans, plantains and empanadas. I would have to cook my own meals, eyeball my grams and ounces of protein, carbs, and fats.

Food was no longer a comfort to me. Taste was not my anchor anymore. It became a science, a really complex game of Tetris where I would track everything I ate in a food diary, pick the best foods I could so that they would hit my macronutrient and micronutrient intakes and clear the level for the day.

By the end of the summer, I fit back into seven other dresses that had been collecting dust beyond the light of day. After five months, I discovered an old photo taken when I was a sophomore in college. I did not recognize myself whatsoever, and was stunned speechless because I thought I was making minimal progress. By February of the 2017 semester, only three outfits fit me properly because everything else began to billow, sag, and quite literally fall off.
You can't out-train a poor diet. A calorie is not just a calorie. Nutrition is ninety percent of maintaining a healthy body for life. Don't believe what you hear about sodium intake and cholesterol. I eat eggs every day and my bloodwork has never been more consistent on this diet, sleep has never been more refreshing and deep, and most importantly, I feel that I have finally begun the best chapter of my life.

At the time of writing this piece I have lost over thirty five pounds, am now smaller than a size eight in women's dresses, size six or small in women's tops, and can fit into a size twenty six in US bottoms.

How can you deny a diet that allows bacon and butter, eggs and avocados, spinach and salmon?

~ Erika Rosell

I became I journalist because

I became I journalist because

I became I journalist because I needed a way to channel my social justice. I entered college a gender studies major with little hope of ever finding a job in that field. After taking a journalism class, I realized I could help people by shedding light on corruption while making a living. I never imagined in my freshmen year that, by the time I graduated, being a journalist would be so important. I never thought that the president would attack journalists for printing facts. Freedom of the press was founded on the idea that the people should be able to openly discuss and critique their elected leaders. If publications are scared to publish information for fear of being attacked by the new administration, can we still call ourselves a democracy? If nothing else these attack have encouraged me to fight harder for the oppressed people, to lift the veil and reveal what's happening in the shadows of government. My feminism is intersectional. My reporting will be too.

~ Angel Gierisch

When I was growing up I was always told

When I was growing up I was always told

When I was growing up I was always told that I could be whatever I wanted to be. When you're three or four or five you don't think that there are any exceptions to that kind of idea. I didn't know that my being a girl, or my being Latina, would hold any weight on my ability to be whatever I wanted to be. As I got older, it was easy to tell myself that the world was becoming more progressive with each passing year. I grew up in a diverse town, went to schools that had predominantly African American or Latin demographics. I went to an all girls high school, where we were taught to empower and exhibit leadership. We heard whispers of the difficulty women faced in the working world, but we told ourselves that things were getting better. Once I got to college it didn't take long for me to realize that my ethnicity and my gender weighed heavily on how I was perceived by the world, and how I was going to be treated. I worked hard in college, building my resume while still taking on leadership roles on campus and maintaining a social life. Watching Hillary Clinton, a candidate I'd so passionately supported throughout the 2016 Election, lose, crushed all of the hopes I had that a woman like me really could be whatever they wanted to be. If a qualified woman could lose an election to a severely under qualified man, what was stopping the world from preventing me, a Latina woman, from taking on the roles I deserved. This period of my life has taught me that I can work as hard as I can, but it'll only be through a change in the attitude's of others, and the perception of women and minorities in this country, that women like me can have the world open up for them. I have faith that one day it'll happen, and I'd be honored to say I was one of the millions of women that marched, spoke out, and stood up for their rights and made their voices heard. I hope that one day, Hillary Clinton's words will echo true: "To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want-even president."

~Anonymous

When I was a kid I was obsessed

When I was a kid I was obsessed

When I was a kid I was obsessed with being cool. I always wanted to have the in clothes, the in shoes, and whatever all of the other kids had. But I wanted to go one step further, I wanted to have the things they didn't have yet - the latest upcoming trends. I wanted to be a trendsetter. So, I was really excited when I got an email - in sixth grade - from this company that said they would send me these free clothes, and I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was going to be the new trend, and nobody else would have these clothes yet. I was really excited about it. I responded, told them how excited I was - I gave them my home address, which might have been a mistake, but anyway... I got these clothes in the mail, which is a miracle that this wasn't actually a scam. I tried on the clothes and I was so excited because they seemed so different from what everyone else in my class was wearing. I don't remember exactly what made it different - but it made me feel more adult. I had broken my arm at the time, so my mom had to help me with getting dressed every morning. I showed her the clothes and even she was excited, she thought the outfits were really cute, and somehow I managed to get away with not telling her I'd give a strange company my address. I went to school, and all of my friends seemed really excited about this outfit too... but then I was sent to the principals office. I couldn't figure out why, I'd only been at school for a couple of minutes.

The principal told me I had to be sent home because my outfit had broken our school dress code and was too 'provocative.' I couldn't understand what he meant. I didn't see anything wrong with my outfit - it was really just jeans and a loose, patterned shirt. The jeans weren't even ripped, something that kids had gotten reprimanded for but never sent home over. I asked him what it was about my outfit that was too provocative, but he wouldn't answer and my mom was called to come and pick me up. When my principal filled her in she was livid. She couldn't understand why my outfit was coming under fire when no part of me was exposed. The principal, after much berating, finally told her that my shirt had exposed too much of my shoulder, in a way that could be considered inappropriate. I don't know why, but I can't remember what happened after this point in the conversation. I went home, changed, and came back to school, but I don't remember telling my friends about what had happened, or wearing the rest of my new trendy clothing. I was too embarrassed. To this day I spend a lot of time picking out my outfits. I worry more about my outfits now, but I think I'm worried for the wrong reasons.

~Anonymous

The story I want to tell

The story I want to tell

The story I want to tell is more of a statement of fatigue of what we're constantly seeing here. It's extremely disheartening that people in a place of extreme privilege are trying to take away so much from people they know nothing of their experiences - and if they do know, not taking the time to understand. It baffles me that men are trying to take away rights of women's bodies. There are so many stories of women (including my own) who didn't have a choice to make in an interpersonal situation and now there are being moves made to make it legal for us to not have a say in what happens inside of our bodies. This is a time when using your privilege is very important, any privileges you may have, this goes for everyone. So that if one person's privilege protects someone else that has a privilege that protects them, the outcome is beneficial for everyone, we must all work together. With this fatigue, there has been great space for growth and education. In the face of an oppressor we must stand up. It's a shame that so many experiences women endure are so stigmatized, but in this time of "upheaval" it seems that an uprising of activism has taken place so an abundance of people are speaking out against those stigmas which has made me grow and develop as a person and a woman, and I hope to continue to work at this. By learning about the world around me, I have learned a lot about myself.

~ Gianna Boveri

I used to do this stupid thing

I used to do this stupid thing

I used to do this stupid thing when I was in middle school. I would write the names of people I didn't like on little slips of paper and put them in a jar and fill it with water. Then I would put the lid back on and shake the jar up until I was sure the paper was in little bits. It was a way to just release my anger without hurting anyone. Like when my friend since elementary school made out with my crush in ninth grade. I put her name on a piece of paper and put it in that jar and shook it instead of yelling at her. I stayed friends with her until we graduated and eventually lost touch. In a lot of ways, I blame my docile personality on doing that jar thing. I never felt the need to confront people when I could just put their name in a jar, fill it with water, and shake it until I felt better. I got walked on a lot in college. I stayed with a guy for three years even though he would yell at me for no reason and cheat on me because I never developed that backbone most kids do in high school. I did that jar thing until my junior year of college when I realized it wasn't helping me. Senior year, I started to confront people more and started saying 'no' more. Isn't it such a beautiful word? 'No'. I love it! 'No'! Welp, now I know about standing up for myself to some degree. Got rid of that shitty boyfriend and I'm taking my time discovering this new me that has a spine. I think I like her. I'm gonna try to keep her.

~Anonymous